During our walk across North Dakota, a very important event will occur: my birthday. I expect nothing less than an extravagant celebration of epic proportions, gentlemen. I’m just playing, of course, but in case you decide to make a small but meaningful gesture or two to observe my b-day, I’ve come up with a few suggestions. Nothing your resourceful, ND-born selves can’t handle.
1. Make a birthday cake. It’s as simple as rustling up some cattails to grind into flour, eggs from a chicken coop, freshly squeezed milk, wild honey, and perhaps some wild strawberries, then baking the batter over the campfire. Delish.
2. Sing “Happy Birthday” every hour on the hour, seeing how many different musical styles you can pull off.
3. Build toilets out of rocks for me when and where I need them.
4. Foot massage!
5. Carry a makeshift umbrella over my head, should there be the misfortune of rain, sleet, or hail.
6. Find some mountain lion kittens for me to play with.
7. Carry my backpack all day. That one’s a no-brainer.